Into the Past
by Anathemal
Summary: Gon has lost his Nen, and the only way to make him whole again is to enter each other's childhoods through an ancient Nen practitioner who lives deep within a cave...what will they find in their hearts?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! My name is Gregory ^_^. This is the beginning of a long journey for Killua and Gon, of self discovery and healing. The reason I posted such a short first chapter is because I want to get a little feedback before I keep on writing! If you have any interest in beta-reading my work, please let me know! So review, review! Lots of love, and be happy :)**

****Italics will indicate thought (from Killua's perspective as of now) or flashbacks. It should be clear as to whether it's a thought or a flashback!****

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><p>The darkness was so complete, that it felt infinite.<p>

Gon reached out into the endless abyss and-

"Ouch! Watch where you're going, Gon!" Killua's voice echoed in the cavern. Gon whined.

"I'm sorry! I can't see anything in here! It's like..it's like...endless!" Killua snorted.

"We're almost there Gon, so just grab onto the back of my shirt and I'll lead the rest of the way."

"You can see in here?!" Gon's voice was suddenly loud and tilted upwards in surprise.

"Your senses may be sharper than mine usually, but when it comes to being in the dark..." Killua trailed off. Gon tilted his head, suddenly understanding. Reaching out, he grabbed onto the back of Killua's shirt.

_Some time later..._

"You have come." The woman's face had hundreds of deep, deep lines. Her eyes were sunken and her cheek bones protruded. Her hair fell in wisps around her face, gray as a rainy sky, and her eyes blue as the sea. They were bright and penetrating.

Gon stood gaping at her. Killua took a small, protective step forward in front of Gon without even realizing it. Killua swallowed. Her Nen felt ancient and undiscernable, the intent behind it neither light nor dark, and yet powerful as the sun and quiet as the moon.

"A-are you...are you Sayeed?" The woman looked at Killua, a look that sent shivers down his spine. _It feels like she's staring at my soul..._

"I have been called Sayeed, Killua." Gon jumped a little.

"How did you know Killua's name?" His voice shook with excitement and came out in a breathy rush. Killua narrowed his eyes at Gon and hissed,

"Gon, be more respectful!" _Gon can't feel it..._

A cackle ran through the small cave, the noise flickering with the firelight.

"It is alright, child. I know many things, for that is my gift. The gift of knowing. In times past, though, I would have called it a curse..." She looked from Killua to Gon, her eyes sharp and alive. "I know what you are here for. I know that you have lost your Nen, and that you are here to make yourself whole again. I know the deep bond you share, that the experiences you have had together have transformed you both. I know that without Killua, you, Gon, would be dead. And I know that without Gon, you, Killua, would be on the path of darkness. The exchange is equal. Do you know why you were told to come here together?"

Gon and Killua shook their heads and glanced at eachother. Gon spoke,

"U-um, well, Ging said you...you could help me. But he said if we didn't come here together, that I'd be wasting my time. And...and Killua..." Gon looked at Killua, an apologetic look on his face. "Killua didn't want to leave his sister...but...she got angry and told him to."

_"Idiot! I know how much you care about Gon, why would you risk your life for him dozens of times and then leave him now when he needs you most?" Killua's voice threatened to crack._

_"Shut up! I can't be near him anymore! You don't understand!" Alluka looked at him._

_"I, or Nanika, will never speak or look at you again if you don't help Gon." She turned away from him..._

_"Dammit! Damn it all to hell!"_

Killua looked at his feet.

"I spoke of your deep connection...that is why you have come together. You have exchanged Nen."

"What?" Killua and Gon exclaimed simultaneously, their eyes wide. Killua stepped forward.

"What do you mean?"

"Killua, in your aura...in your aura, there is part of Gon's Nen. Before Gon lost his Nen, he had a part of yours as well. Actually, it is still there, but lodged deep in his body, currently inaccessible. If you were to meditate, away from Gon so his presence did not distract you, you would be able to feel him inside your aura."

Killua blushed.

"Old woman, the way you say that is embarrassing!" Sayeed laughed again, and Gon simply tilted his head, his eyes wide and curious.

_Shit, I'm glad that didn't piss her off..._

"I will be straightforward with you. I will put you both into a deep sleep, and you will travel. You will travel into eachother's childhoods and experience them together. If you are able to overcome the challenges, and break down the barriers of separation, Gon will become whole again...and so will Killua."

_So will I? I didn't lose my Nen...what is this old hag talking about..._

"Thank you, Sayeed...and...thank you, Killua. I'm ready."

_My...my past? But..._

"Then sit...sit, and I will sing..."

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! Thank you so much for reviewing, because you two inspired me to keep on writing! I'm planning on doing really small daily or slightly bigger 2 day updates. Butters, I saw that you had wrote a bunch of fics. for GonxKilllua...and I read some...and they made me cry. Stawp. **

**Please, give me lots of critique. I definitely don't consider this amazing writing, but I'm trying to make it lots of fun and emotionally engaging! And and, I still would really appreciate someone editing/beta-reading my work, so please let me know if you're interested. And, chibi-Gon...**

**So cute! **

**Lots of love, and be happy :)**

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><p><em>blink<em>

_blink_

Light blasted his eyes suddenly, and he yelped in his haste to cover them. When his eyes adjusted, Killua looked around wildly.

_Where the fuck am I? _

_And more importantly...where's Gon!?_

He stretched, his hands reaching into the bright sky. The sun's warmth wrapped around him, its embrace nurturing and pleasant. The breeze sifted through his hair, and he pursed his lips.

_That old hag said...we'd be in each other's memories? But I thought we'd be here together? Even so...this defintely isn't my childhood. So...Whale Island? _ _I don't even remember her doing anything anyway..._

The trees waved softly, their leaves rustling, and the sunlight dappled through their branches onto the forest path. Killua walked slowly and mindfully, but his body was tense. The birds whistled, their joy apparent...but the chirps were strangely loud and penetrating, and the colors of his surroundings seemed very bright. Too bright.

_I can't lose my cool. Can't relax. That wrinkled mass of skin said there would be challenges...hah...wrinkled mass..._

Killua stopped and put his hands into his air...

"Arghh!" His voice erupted through the stillness, and the birds stopped chirping.

_Damn! Not even 5 minutes here and I'm already getting frustrated. Focus. Just gotta' find Gon. _

Killua took off, racing down the path.

Gon clutched his arm, blood pouring from his shoulder.

"Mito! Somebody!" The wolf took another step closer, its teeth bared.

Gon let go of his arm and grabbed a rock nearby.

"Get away!" He threw the rock at the wolf, and it hit its nose. The wolf's eyes narrowed as it shook its head. Growling, it kept on walking towards Gon.

Gon looked around wildly for some way to escape. The cliff behind him was high enough, but could he climb it with only one arm? Gon took one last glance at the wolf, and in one swift movement, pivoted and leapt towards the cliff. The wolf's spring landed it off balance, and it was momentarily stunned. Gon gasped in pain as he tried to climb the cliff before him. He kept making it up a few feet, but his arm would become numb and he would lose control. Tears formed around his eyes as his mouth worked in panic.

"No, no! Please!" Gon screamed in pain as the wolf closed its jaw around his ankle, biting deeply into the flesh. The wolf moved its head violently side to side to loosen Gon from the cliff. Gon fell suddenly and hit his head on part of the cliff...blackness.

Mito paced back and forth frantically. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face tear streaked.

"Gran! It's been TWO DAYS SINCE GON HAS BEEN HOME! WE HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP FINDING HIM NOW!" Gran scratched her head tiredly. She looked at Mito, who was hunched over slightly, her hair sticking up at odd angles…

_It looks like the poor girl didn't get any sleep last night..._

"Mito, Gon can take care of himself…he's 7 now! Do you remember when you would chase Ging out into the forest, and he would sometimes stay out for days at a time? He's just like his father! Please try to get some rest…come, now, sit and I will make you tea." Mito sniffed and sat down suddenly. Gran busied herself in the kitchen, gathering tea leaves and starting hot water to boil.

"Gran…."

"Yes, Mito?"

"Do you think that I'm a good mother?"

"Your answer is in the smile on Gon's face whenever he sees you, and the peacefulness with which he sleeps under your roof." Mito was leaned over her legs as she sat on the chair, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands on her head. A tear fell to the floor.

"Thank you…thank you, Mom."

Thunder cracked overhead, the house reverberating slightly with the noise. Mito stood and went to the window.

"Hm…it's not rai-ah!"

The door slammed open and a boy with white hair and striking blue eyes walked in.

"MITO, HELP GON NOW!" Killua's face was tight, and his pupils were dilated. His hands were covered in blood, and in them was Gon, unconscious and breathing quickly. Mito and Gran ran to Killua, taking Gon and laying him down on the couch.

"Where is he hurt, boy?"

_They…they don't know who I am. That's right…Gon is younger here…he hasn't met me yet. _

"His ankle, his shoulder, and his head. There were wolves around his body…and…" Killua shuddered. "If I had been just a minute later…"

Mito and Gran worked quickly and quietly, gathering bandages and ointment. Gran ran to the kitchen to get herbs. Mito's face was pale, but her hands did not shake as she cleaned Gon's ankle.

"Who are you? And…how did you know my name?"

"I…uh, Gon muttered your name…and I-"

"Then how did you know where I lived?"

"…you were the closest house." Mito looked hard at Killua.

"Thank you, child…thank you for saving my boy." Killua stiffened slightly at those words.

_Why did that make me uncomfortable?_

"What is your name?" Gran scuttled back in with a handful of crushed herbs, and started to mix it with an ointment Mito had brought onto the table by the couch.

"Killua."

"Killua, you look worried and tired. Why don't you stay for the night?" Gran looked him up and down, and nodded approvingly.

"I…okay."

_She said that we had to overcome challenges together…so…I guess this worked out well._

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><p><em>TO be continued.<em>

_No crazy cliffhangers today! huzzah!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Are these little tidbits I'm uploading torturous? Maybe I should start writing longer chapters...**

**Thank you Mister Bun Bun, your review inspired me to write a little something something and post it immediately :D**

**Your harassment is what fuels my fire -strokes bunny's ears- **

**O_O**

**Seriously though, I really enjoy reading reviews, and interacting with the people who read my stories. And I still want someone to beta-read my work. So someone needs to do that. Yeah. ^_^**

**3, enjoy, and tell me how I did!**

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><p>Killua tossed and turned in the bed, while trying his best not to wake the small figure laying next to him.<p>

_Gon still hasn't woken up...and...what the hell is going on? Is this real? Gon never told me about any injuries as a child..._

Killua slid out of the bed smoothly and walked to the window. The moon light shone through his bangs and illuminated his eyes.

_I feel tense here. Something feels off. _

"Uwaahhhhhhh..." Killua spun around to see Gon sitting up and stretching out his arms.

_He was really cute when he was young.._._gah! _

"Ouch! What happened?..." Killua shook himself, his face twisted in annoyance for a moment. Killua's eyes slid off of the shirtless boy.

"Uh...Gon?" Gon looked over to Killua curiously, his eyes wide and questioning.

"Oh! Who are you? I thought I saw an angel...I guess I'm not dead though, because this is my room! But...why do I hurt all over? Where's Mito? And how did you get into my room? And why aren't you asleep? It's dark out, right?" Gon became animated, bouncing in the bed a little and turning his whole body to face Killua.

Killua's mouth dropped a little in response to the assault of questions from Gon. His body heated up a little from the attention.

"Gon, I'm...uh...I...I found you being attacked by wolves! An-"

"YOU SAVED ME?" Gon jumped out of bed and wrapped his arms around Killua's legs.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! Mito said I should always be grateful to someone when they help me, and you must have helped me a lot! But...I don't remember it very well." Gon nuzzled a little into Killua's legs.

Killua's whole body stiffed at the touch from Gon, and he tried to gently pry him off.

_But it feels so nice to be hugged..._

His face reddened and his voice rose,

"Gon! Get off of me!" Gon jumped back as if he had been bitten.

"O-oh...sorry..." His shoulders slumped and he sat back down on the bed, looking away from Killua. Killua smacked a hand into his forehead.

_Damn, I'm an idiot. He's only a kid..._

"Ah, Gon, no...I'm sorry. You just surprised me, that's all. My name is Killua, okay?" Gon sprung out of bed again, his face stretched into a huge smile.

"Ki-lu-aaa! I like your name!" Killua's face reddened again, and he looked away.

"Er..thanks."

_I guess he's always been that forward..._

"Gon...do you remember..." Gon looked at him, his neck stretching back.

"Remember what? The wolves?" Killua winced.

"Sure...sure, the wolves. Do you remember the wolves?"

_He doesn't remember Sayeed...this is bad...am I stuck here with a seven year old Gon? And are we really in his memories? Or is this...reality?_

"Nope! Well...sort of...I remember running through the forest away from them, because one bit me while I was concentrating on fishing! Wait...where's my fishing rod?" Killua looked blankly at Gon.

"You weren't with your fishing rod when I found you..." Gon ran across his room and started pulling his boots on.

"I have to go find it, right now!" Killua moved instantly, too fast for Gon to track...and his hand was like an iron vice around Gon's wrist.

"Gon, you should rest." His voice was like steel, but his eyes were soft and concerned. Gon looked at him and then down at his boots.

"Okay...ne, Killua...are we brothers now? Because brothers look out for one another!" Gon blinked up at Killua, a grin pasted on his face. Killua felt his face start to heat up again.

_He's not even that different...This situation is pissing me off more and more..._

"Brothers? Mito just said I could stay for the night because I helped you, and it was already late..." Gon leapt into the air, fist held high.

"Yes! Mito got me a big brother!" Killua looked down, his white hair covering his eyes.

_He's known me for 5 minutes, and we're already brothers?_

_*must be nice...to be so cool like that..._

_since this...is of no concern to you...* _

Pain shot through Killua's heart, and his mind went numb.

_Brothers...I'm not strong enough to be your brother, Gon._

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><p><em>To be continued.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyones! I be sowwy it took so long, I was in a meditation retreat and I just moved into my new home with my partner! Hooray! I am sorry about how short it is, I am not very good at writing long pieces at a time...**

**My story still needs a beta-reader if anyone is interested! **

**Lots of love, and be happy :)**

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><p>Killua's eyes fluttered open, light covering the upper half of his face, and his body immediately tensed. Gon was breathing softly next to him, still sound asleep. The sun streamed through the window, and most of the room was lit up.<p>

Killua raised his arms in a stretch, and arose silently, moving towards the door. Opening it, he stood face to face with a surprised Mito.

"You're up! I thought I'd have to drag you both out of bed." Mito tilted her head and smiled. "Thank you again, Killua. Why don't you wake up Gon and come get a bite to eat?"

"Sure, Mito. Thanks for inviting me to eat." Killua felt his voice almost stutter.

_I'm really losing my touch. _He shook himself imperceptibly. Mito's eyes looked him over.

"How old are you?" Killua stared at Mito.

"Oh, I'm 13." Mito nodded as if she had already known that.

"Hm, well, I'll see you down for food! Don't take long or it'll all be eaten!"

Killua looked around the room again and sighed.

_I'm stuck, confused, and the only thing I can do is just go with the flow. This sucks._

Killua looked at Gon. He went to the edge of the bed and grabbed his foot and shook it.

"Gon! Gon, wake up!" Shaking his foot even more, he raised his voice.

"GON!" Gon muttered something to himself and rolled over, twisting his foot in Killua's hand. Killua's annoyance spiked and his eyes darkened. He moved his face right in front of Gon's and spoke, his voice deepened and rough,

"If you don't wake up right now, I will throw you out the window." Gon slowly opened his eyes.

"Wha-WAH!" Gon flipped out of bed and fell onto the floor. Killua couldn't help it, his body began to shake helplessly with laughter. Gon glared at him, his mouth turned slightly in a pout.

"I'm telling Mito that you beat me up and then you won't get any food!" Gon smiled, but it was more a baring of his teeth, and his eyes sparkled with mischief. He bounded out the door and down the stairs and could be heard talking rapidly and excitedly. Killua put his hand to his face and caught his breath. He walked down the stairs to meet them.

Mito turned to Killua with a mock glare.

"Gon said you beat him up, is that true?" Gon was behind Mito, and stuck his tongue out at Killua.

Killua just looked at Mito, and then to Gon, who was still poking his tongue at him; and began to laugh again. Mito's mock severity fell and she began to laugh as well. Gon stared at both of them, shocked.

"But! But why are you laughing!" Gon sat down on the floor in a huff.

Mito looked at Killua out of the corner of her eye and smiled inwardly.

_It's good that he's laughing. When he thinks no one is looking, his face becomes so sad..._

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><p>Gon's hand pulled him through the thick trees, leaves rustling against his clothes and hair. Gon kept looking back as if to check he was still attached to his hand.<p>

"Come on, come on! It's this way!" Light flashed in his eyes as they sped through the forest, the critters of the trees meeting the boys' intrusion with silence.

"I left my fishing rod over here!" The trees gave way to a clearing, with a lake in the center. The water shimmered with Gon's eyes. Gon looked up at Killua expectantly, a huge smile stretched across his face.

_I remember this._

"Gon, it's awesome!" Killua gave him the thumbs up.

_I hope I'm convincing enough. He doesn't know I've been here before…_

Gon looked at him a moment longer, and then grabbed his legs in a tight hug.

"I've never gotten to show anyone my special place before…" Gon sighed contentedly into Killua's legs.

Killua sucked in his breath.

_I either get used to this now or spend the rest of my life in embarrassment. _

Killua smiled and patted Gon on the head.

"It's nothing, bro." Gon looked up, eyes shining.

"You mean it?" Killua stared at him.

"Mean what?"

"You called me bro!" Killua laughed nervously and ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Gon whooped and ran towards the big tree overlooking the lake. His fishing rod lay next to the tree.

"Kil-lu-aaaa! I found m-" Gon stopped short, his body frozen. Killua jogged over to see what was wrong. Birds chirped and the air shimmered with the sun's heat.

_I'm getting that weird feeling again…_

"Gon, what's…" Gon turned to Killua, his face contorted and lips wobbling.

"It's…it's…it's BROKEN!" Gon fell into a sitting position and the tears began to flow.

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><p><strong>Hah!<strong>


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